| Well, I went ahead and read all of my xanga entries and their respective comments over again. All of them. Wait, no, that would be a lie. I really didn't. I just picked a date and went backwards from there. The journey goes somewhat like this:
"Hey, look, I was such a n00bcake when I wrote that entry!"
"And this one."
"And also, this."
"And throw this one with the ranting, too."
"Ho, whoa, why did I put up so many pictures of myself?"
"Whoa, it's like I can point out to the exact entry where I began cursing vigorously."
"Haaiii, this was when I was really emo... and by "this" I mean every entry."
"n00bcake's fucking huge. Want bite?"
Sure, there were times when the little Sneha was witty and clever. But she didn't have too many of those shining moments. She was too emo to notice that she was making retarded comments on things and life and hair-straighteners and wtf-I-try-too-hard-for-saix Japanese men that can't sing.
Sure, my summers are still very stilted. But that's okay. I like summer the way it is. It gives me time to think and formulate my emotions well. It gives me time to rock out my hero-skills with the guitar's sequel and revolt to the dancing dance. It gives me time to just be a lard-ass and do nothing. It also gives me time to wonder why "Rich Girl" is on my MP3 player and why my room is never clean. Time to learn how to drive, even if it's two years behind the rest of the world. (The rest of the world as in Michigan because we're the fucking hand and what the fucking hand says goes.) Time to realize that I will soon be seeing places, family, and friends that I have not seen in 3 years... during which time I became a completely different person, with different ideals, outlooks, perspectives, and morals. But for the better, I'd like to think. It gives me time to think about that summer homework I will be postponing until the end of time. It gives me time to indulge myself into predictable, cutesy Korean movies and then recommend the most predictable ones to my fellow peers who are dead from boredom.
But mostly, summer gives me time to take pointless walks around a mundane neighborhood, lay on the grass, and stare at a beautiful, setting sky with shades of blue, pink, and purple blending perfectly into a breath-takingly gorgeous painting, the scent of which is ever so pungent and yet so distant from this ignorant, odorless earth. To think about everything and anything I've done, am doing, and might do. Think about the wonderful people, places, and perspectives I've learned to love and cherish. Time to think about flying away into a canvas of clouds and yet, always coming back with a finished piece of art. |
